Когда я умру, моя переписка с отцом войдет в сборник моих сочинений.
i worked as a barista this summer i know that tips are a nice bonus but there IS income that is specified so it's not like they weren't getting paid at all. there were days where i went home with 0 tips but it wasnt like i worked for free - i had worked for a sum per hour so i knew exactly how much i made. and we never got angry for customers not leaving tips even if we were super nice with them (actually we always were) or made them what we thought was the best cup of coffee ever. tips are actually weird, you never tip a hairdresser or a bus-driver or a sellswoman in a store so why are those with them so special? or is it a way to buy karma? i wonder.
i dont think depression is a sin in the us again i know tons of people who are so emotionally drained by college they arent feeling life at all. or not college smth. well here it's a trend now which i think is a really cool way to deal with it. although it does make your own problems even smaller because 'you're sad? so what? everyone's sad'
but i dont mind. i mean no matter how long you live its all the same. everywhere's the same, people are the same. yesterday i watched a documental film about prostitution in NY, and it's just horrible. all those people, starving, living in boxes, already dead inside. but it's NY, the city of dreams, right? they must be happy. there is a person right now in moscow going home from useless work wondering why they bother, why are they doing this and there is a person in London wondering the same thing.
maybe it's mental self-harm. i mean i knew i do this a lot, but now it's like bright realization. but being in this state of mind is something that helps me think and analyze. i dont think i envy people in suburbs with two children and three dogs. id rather spend a night sitting on the floor with my friend talking about everything. much more intresting, much more thought-provoking, much more memorable.
when i first heard the word "декабристы", i thought i was one too, because i assumed it was the name for people born in december.
anyway this wasn't supposed to be this long. everyone left for holidays and i am eating too much. uni's boring, mom's great.